WTPf?: About Pflugervillains
I understand that some of the language, while graphic, is terribly difficult to understand. I encourage you to use the context clues to figure it all out but some of the terms might be too specific. We really should work on our non-regional diction. So to aid in communication, the “Codex” is provided below:
A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z
404 – A girl so beautiful that when your brain attempts to access your heart, the server issues a 404 error message. Not found, because it’s been stolen.
47/53 – The marginal percentage of disinterest in doing something as opposed to not doing something.
53/47 – The marginal percentage of interest in doing something as opposed to not doing something.
A-game – The level which you brought your game, rated by the audience. Descending from A to C. An incomplete might be issued but is never desired.
ACCorns – The should-have-been mascot for Austin Community College. Pronounced “acorns.”
aiight – Alright.
amateur hour – Also, a unit of time usually spanning 30 minutes to two hours. Also also, a funny-ass radio show.
ASUSA – Ain’t Shit, USA. A podunk, small town with relatively nothing to offer in terms of entertainment or lifestyle. ASUSA is pronounced as “Ah-Soo-Suh.”
bahamas – Automatically corrected text for “bwahaha,” the onomatopoeia of evil laughter.
bizzle – A local grocery store.
bookface – facebook
boom – Punctuation. Used to exacerbate the previous point. If an exclamation point had a bigger, longer brother, this would be it.
box – Female genitalia.
buukcs – Bound paper with writing inside. Have no use or idea of application.
c0e – COOL! But said in a cool manner. Doubling its cool factor.
chicken brain – Sleep coma induced by a particular food modified by the “-brain” suffix to indicate what area is affected. Similar in size and scope to the “itis” but the source of affliction is known whereas the “itis” is a more of a blanket term.
cmd – Command to bring up the command prompt. Used for hacking.
cock sauce – Sriracha red chili sauce. Named “cock sauce” because of the prominent rooster on the bottle.
codex – Glossary of terms and their (improper) usage.
coolie – A laborer.
cry to a dick – Advice given to haters and bitches. Perhaps it will help.
dinosaur farts – A fart with rancidity that supercedes history, space, time, and language. The only knowns are the source and that it had been brewing for a very long time.
Dirty – Nickname for Dirty.
dood – Alternate spelling, based on the pronunciation of “dude.”
dood date – A date between two men. Not necessarily homosexual in nature but by implication.
dynamite props – The highest of regards that can be bestowed from one part-time friend to another. Recognizes star-player status. Can be given in multiples, depending on severity of excellence.
fryday – An alternate and more accurate spelling of “Friday.”
gay boys – Samer, Dirty, and Miguelito Burrito.
GBITP – Initialism for “Gang Bang In The Park.” Used to describe a group effort and/or an actual gangbang which did/will take place in a literal or figurative park.
getcha ass on – A slogan similar in size and scope to “Come on, do it already! Get it done!” Also, an umbrella corporation.
GMN – Nickname for Neil.
gumshoe – To solve a damn mystery.
hobo beans – A can of beans often cooked over an open flame using the can as the preferred cooking apparatus.
ipconfig – Used for hacking.
itis – A terrible and incurable disease which causes drowsiness and even death. Most often inflames after a heavy meal.
janky – Broken but not to the point of inoperability; just enough to be obviously broken but retain base functionality.
jdm – An import from the Japanese Domestic Market. Used most often in reference to Asian girls.
jellis – Alternate spelling for “jealous.” Used to underscore the level of jealousy and/or to rub something in someone’s face maliciously.
kakane – Alternate spelling for “cocaine” but is used as a general term for stimulus. Or cocaine.
KLM – Ketchup, Lettuce, and Mayonnaise sandwich. Also, a unit of currency comprised solely on the valuation of a single ketchup, lettuce, and mayonnaise sandwich. Roughly 1:1.06519 USD.
leased! – Used when an object has valuation above means of attainment. Example: Big, expensive and shiny spinning wheels on a janky 1997 Honda Accord. The wheels were obviously attained on a payment plan and/or bad credit.
life lessons – A lesson that is learned through valuable experience. No amount of reading, math, and/or science accrued can equate the lesson learned. Usually gained on the streets.
list-yo – A scatterbrained and wrongfully bullet-pointed arrangement of thoughts.
MOTY – Man of the fucking YEAR!
not super-obvious – A game where one person describes a movie in terms of their own personal commentary on the movie. More points are scored the less clues are required. There’s also a time system that hasn’t come into play, yet.
part-time friends – The assholes you spend time with.
pixel dick – Censored genitalia most often found in Asian pornography.
Plain Rock – The old house. The slogan RIPRP was adopted in memory of its passing.
plug in and hate – The act of arriving to work, turning on your music, and attempting to make it through another work day.
point-man – The person in charge. Takes all blame and receives little-to-no credit.
punny – Funny in terms of execution of a pun.
round-robin – Taking turns like gentlemen.
sake fighter – A drinking game played most often to Street Fighter IV. Lose the match, you take a shot of sake. If you lose and your opponent executed a super to finish the round, you take a shot. If you lose by a PERFECT, you take a shot. There is a potential of five shots per round.
sammich – Sandwich.
shattus – Facebook status most likely posted by a part-time friend which makes mention of you doing an incriminating or embarrassing activity on your own wall for all your real friends to see. Ex: “I just pooped my pants-pocket.”
shit and die – To give up. Completely.
shittles – Remnants of fecal matter left behind after the toilet has been flushed.
silver platter – Specialized delivery method used to underscore the act of serving and the lack of input or effort required by the recipient.
star player – The most important person to a team/organization.
starfish – The opening of the anus. So called due to its resemblance to a starfish. It’s also reported to be four degrees warmer in there.
stoopid – Alternate spelling for stupid. Used to underscore the severity of stupidity. More O’s and their various capitalization increase proportionally to the level of stupidity.
stranger cake – Cake received from a stranger… Under any circumstance: DO NOT EAT.
summmamabitch – Son of a bitch.
T&R – Take and Rape. The act of forcefully accomplishing something.
tater tot – A small-ass penis.
the point is… – Fuck you.
volcano! – A zit. Api Siau is the largest volcano in Indonesia.
we gonna die tonight – Official drinking slogan. Most often punctuated with an exclamation point. The dichotomy behind the phrase is as such: if in fact, the participants “die tonight” then they are to be seen as soothsayers and accurately forecast their own demise. If the participants do not “die tonight” then they have effectively cheated death. Win-win.
white papers – Technical specifications which detail the operation and/or functionality of the subject.
wrd – Lazy text form for “word.” The text is usually auto-corrected by most phones which results in a greater expenditure of effort. Used for affirmation.
wtpf? – Stands for “What The Pfuck?”
zero – The phone number most often received by Dirty.
Zzzzz…. – The sound of snoring, most often employed post-coitus.